Lately my Facebook feed has been virally dominated (mostly among nonparents, funnily enough) by Samuel L. Jackson's reading of the new fake children's book, Go the ___ to Sleep. It's a funny book that does touch a nerve about the frustrations of "bedtime battles." It's really too profane to even link. But we've all been there. Here are some classic Max sleep-fighting quotes.
"Snails don't have arms. or feet. But they do have backs."
"Beetles are different from lightning bugs because lightning bugs have a light in their tails"
"I'm hungry."
"I'm thirsty."
"I miss Alex."
"Can you tell me the story about the tornado and the fire tornado?"
"I need to give [sleeping] L.I.A. a kiss and a hug."
"I'm making Teddy a new home."
"I made you a present."
[pries eyes open with fingers] "I can't close my eyes, I'm like a goldfish!"
I don't know Max. As a grown up, I have learned to appreciate the priceless gift of sleep. Maybe you will too one day. Your thought process is amazing though.
pictures coming soon!
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